Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.