When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car...
The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Avatar's were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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