Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has his own protien powder.
The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
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Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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