Best jokes ever

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
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More jokes about: men
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
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More jokes about: animal
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
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More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
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More jokes about: animal, food
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
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Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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More jokes about: animal, doctor
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
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More jokes about: single, sport
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, death
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
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More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money