My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers.
On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum...
Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"...
Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman: "No."
Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Vote:
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
Vote:
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Vote: