What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.