Best jokes ever

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
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An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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More jokes about: lawyer, death, money, priest, doctor
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
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More jokes about: animal, old people
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
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A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.
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Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
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More jokes about: life, music, death
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, food