A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.