What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer. I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Yo mama's so fat that when she goes walking on the beach in heals she strikes oil.
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.