The best Chuck Norris jokes

Once an email was sent from LA to Washington. Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death