The best Chuck Norris jokes

Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
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Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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