Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce. To put on his peppers.
Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.