Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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