Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Chuck Norris can mute silence.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
He opens the door then turns the handle.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.