Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party".
Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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