The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car...
The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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Chuck Norris can set water on fire.
He can also set fire on water.
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Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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