Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
Chuck Norris can mute silence.