All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!