Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...