Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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