Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.