Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
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