Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.