‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that.’
Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part of the big rolling ball.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised?
Her husband was a blonde too!
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.
Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.
The management apologized and gave her a new car.
Again, after half an hour she came back.
The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.
She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth...
“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
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