It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke.
She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her.
Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight.
The loser had to go live in the north pole.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.