If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows. 
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Vote:
What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
Vote:
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?
A: Cold cream!
Yo mama is so fat Dorra the explorer couldn't explore any more!
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
Vote:
What does an annoying pepper do?
It get's jalapeño face
My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
Vote:
The largest unit of digital information is called Chuckbyte.
Vote: