Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?"
Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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