Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy