Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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