Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.