Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.