Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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