Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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