Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.