"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Yo Mamma so fat I took a picture of her last month, and it's still printing.
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.