Best jokes ever

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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More jokes about: women
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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More jokes about: disgusting
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
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More jokes about: school, student, science
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo Mamma so fat I took a picture of her last month, and it's still printing.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
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More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science