They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.