Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.