Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Aliens DO indeed exist.
They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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