The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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