The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Vote: has 71.22 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
Vote: has 71.15 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote: has 71.08 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Vote: has 70.97 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, animal, Chuck Norris
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time