The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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