The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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