It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.