The best genie jokes

A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
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has 52.15 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, genie, stupid
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
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has 47.36 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: democrat, genie, political, republican, stupid
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!" "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet...
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has 46.07 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black people, genie, racist, women
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, genie, ginger
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert. A genie appears and gives each of them one wish. The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away. The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home. The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, genie, ginger
Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it quick." So they thought about what they were going to wish for. The one man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." So the genie said your wish is my command, and he was gone, then the second man said "I wish I was in the pub with my mates." So he was gone. The last man said, "I am lonely and I want my friends back."
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has 41.01 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: desert island, family, friendship, genie
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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has 40.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, life
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