Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? "Where on Earth have you been?!"
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.