The best nerd jokes

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Vote: has 87.33 % from 577 votes. Send joke:

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote: has 87.26 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, nerd, technology
Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
Vote: has 82.03 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: nerd, student, stupid
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
Vote: has 80.88 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.
Vote: has 79.52 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, hunting, math, nerd
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, nerd, science