Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.