The best Hitler jokes

One day, Hitler decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka. As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him. "How high can you jump?" he asks the first one. "About 1 meter," answers the prisoner. Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier. "Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread." After the soldier did as he was told, Hitler stood before the second prisoner. "How high can you jump?" he asks again. After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says. "Two meters, if I really try." Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier again. "Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread." Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan. Finally, Hitler stood face to face with him. "How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner. "My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face. Hitler frowned before turning to his soldier. "Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?" "Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier. Hitler nodded again before turning to the last prisoner. "In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."
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has 81.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, military, prison, time, work
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
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has 80.27 % from 362 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
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has 79.42 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
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has 78.53 % from 821 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, jewish, racist
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 77.76 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
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has 75.10 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
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has 74.89 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: friendship, Hitler, memory
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
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has 70.33 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
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has 69.10 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 68.68 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
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