Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
One of Hitler's assistants says to him one day, "Sir, we're mining too many useless ores." Hitler replies, "Well, mine less." A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, "Mine FEWER!" Hitler looks up and asks, "Yes?"
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.