The best terrorist jokes

Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist
What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." 4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can. 5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. 6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. 7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time. 8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
Vote: has 82.66 % from 240 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, terrorist, vulgar, war
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, black humor, ethnic, football, terrorist