The best tax jokes

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
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has 84.44 % from 650 votes. More jokes about: god, money, political, tax
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
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has 83.88 % from 472 votes. More jokes about: accountant, dirty, tax, women
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: death, political, tax, time
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money, new year, political, tax
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, tax
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that's the job my friend took during his summer vacation. Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line. Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?" "Yeah, still here," said the man. "Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected." "No," the man said, "that would sound more like this." He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, dentist, tax
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