The best fat jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
has 83.97 % from 912 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
has 83.00 % from 626 votes. More jokes about: dad, fat, marriage
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
has 82.79 % from 568 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
has 82.25 % from 6723 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
has 81.54 % from 871 votes. More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, phone
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
has 80.75 % from 1224 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
has 80.70 % from 2821 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
has 79.95 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Yo Momma is so fat… That she broke a branch in her family tree!
has 79.69 % from 947 votes. More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
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