The best fat jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 84.14 % from 841 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 83.48 % from 520 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
Vote: has 83.46 % from 585 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, fat, marriage
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Vote: has 82.51 % from 6239 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Vote: has 81.36 % from 2649 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
Vote: has 81.18 % from 650 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Vote: has 80.83 % from 509 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
Vote: has 80.21 % from 1020 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo mamma so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
Vote: has 80.05 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, heaven, insulting, Yo mama
Yo Momma is so fat… That she broke a branch in her family tree!
Vote: has 79.89 % from 830 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama


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