The best fat jokes

My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 83.98 % from 886 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
Vote: has 83.12 % from 605 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, fat, marriage
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 82.95 % from 548 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Vote: has 82.38 % from 6513 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
Vote: has 81.36 % from 771 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Vote: has 80.97 % from 2747 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
Vote: has 80.24 % from 1144 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Vote: has 79.89 % from 597 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up.
Vote: has 79.77 % from 1060 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, Yo mama


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