The best fat jokes

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.
has 84.42 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, women
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
has 83.40 % from 957 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
has 83.18 % from 607 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
has 83.04 % from 653 votes. More jokes about: dad, fat, marriage
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
has 82.18 % from 6867 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
has 81.81 % from 960 votes. More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
has 81.18 % from 1280 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
has 80.68 % from 2865 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
has 80.52 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, phone
Yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it said: "A.B.C.D.E.F.G get your fat ass off of me."
has 80.23 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
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