Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.