Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.