Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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