Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.