The best geek jokes

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
has 84.19 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, science
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
has 83.19 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
has 83.13 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
has 83.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, time
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
has 81.83 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
has 81.44 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: family, geek, IT, kids
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
has 81.11 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
has 80.72 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
has 80.46 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT
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