The best Halloween jokes

Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
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has 78.61 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
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has 75.90 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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has 74.49 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?" I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, kids
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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has 71.58 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
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