The best Halloween jokes

Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
Vote: has 84.57 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
Vote: has 82.69 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, religious
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
Vote: has 79.35 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
Vote: has 75.25 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, time, ugly, Yo mama
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, music
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party


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