The best Halloween jokes

Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
has 72.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
has 72.39 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
has 72.35 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
has 70.53 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, time, ugly, Yo mama
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