The best Halloween jokes

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
has 83.88 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: communication, Halloween
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
has 83.67 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
has 79.24 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
has 76.53 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
has 74.17 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, time, ugly, Yo mama
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