The best Halloween jokes

Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
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has 84.48 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
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has 79.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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has 78.82 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, time, ugly, Yo mama
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
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