The best football jokes

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Vote: has 74.87 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Vote: has 69.66 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, football
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Vote: has 69.28 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, black humor, ethnic, football, terrorist
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, football
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, kids, money
After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host 
replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, game
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work