The best football jokes

An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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has 81.44 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
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has 76.20 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
Q: Why aren't Pakistani good at Football? A: Because every time they get a Corner, they open a shop.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, ethnic, football
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: football, sport
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, football, genie
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