The best football jokes

An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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has 85.04 % from 1234 votes. More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 85.02 % from 618 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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has 78.32 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
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has 74.23 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 71.64 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
Q: Why aren't Pakistani good at Football? A: Because every time they get a Corner, they open a shop.
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has 69.49 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: business, ethnic, football
A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: football, student, teacher
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, football, genie
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
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