The best football jokes

An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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has 85.18 % from 1438 votes. More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 85.17 % from 777 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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has 80.48 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
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has 74.62 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 71.83 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: football, student, teacher
Q: Why aren't Pakistani good at Football? A: Because every time they get a Corner, they open a shop.
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has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: business, ethnic, football
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
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has 65.19 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, football, game, sport
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