The best football jokes

An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
Vote: has 81.32 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Vote: has 74.93 % from 204 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, disgusting, football, genie
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Vote: has 69.05 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, football
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Vote: has 66.56 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, black humor, ethnic, football, terrorist
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dinosaur, football, sport